Chapters 39 and 40: Music, the reason I applied to PLU, and Starting Residency

Chapter 39: Music: the reason I applied only to PLU

              At the time of college applications, PLU had a fantastic music reputation, mainly in the choir and piano departments, and a fairly good acceptance rate into medical school. They also had accessible opportunities for undergraduate scientific research. At the time it made sense to apply no where else. I couldn’t conceive of not getting in (neither could my parents), and we all agreed that it would be a better fit than a larger school, and there wasn’t a smaller school we preferred.

              I joined Orchestra and continued violin lessons as soon as I came to PLU. Violin lessons were fantastic—more in depth and requiring much more practice than my previous lessons. I worked with a professor we’ll call SR, who is a wonderful Scandinavian man who had a delightful way of leading me to the correct practice techniques or how to fix musical errors in general, which would make me far a far better individual musician. Orchestra was similarly wonderful, conducted by a kind man who I’ll call Dr. BH. He was incredibly passionate about the music that we played, and I appreciated how much time he took fixing individual sections and parts and then blending it all back together. He truly has a gift for understanding what his orchestra is capable of, what the music needs, his own vision, and how to get to a point where all three connect. And like any good conductor he had plenty of humorous stories and off-kilter allegories to try and expand our understanding of the music. One of the best parts of orchestra was getting to practice in the Concert Hall. It had the largest Organ in Washington and had some of the best acoustics of any concert hall I had ever heard, even rivaling the famous Benaroya hall in Seattle. It was an enormous privilege.

              During the year there was an optional “chapel hour.” For religious reasons during which classes could not be held and during which a small service would be held. It also offered a chance for music students to practice preforming what they had been working on in the concert hall and in front of a small audience. It was a wonderful opportunity to get rid of the jitters or get used to preforming on stage and I found it tremendously helpful ((although I was admittedly a coward and should have taken the opportunity more often).

              The main event for the music department each year was the Christmas Concert series. This was an enormous production which combined the two choirs and the orchestra. We played several Christmas-themed music and even some original music written just for PLU over several concerts during the week before finals at our own concert hall, Benaroya hall, and a hall in Portland. Despite being during dead-week and having finals hanging over our head, it was dreadfully fun. It is likely what I miss most from my general time at PLU. We drew some of the largest crowds I had ever seen for performances, and it felt like a tremendous honor to be a part of—although a small part of me felt like it was an unjust amount of work for 1 credit hour, and that maybe we should have received more credit or even payment. I know the feeling was shared. And even though some choir directors could be harsh and divisive with the entire choir and orchestra, joining the choir in performance was an incredible musical experience wherein it felt as though the best of all musical worlds were coming together. One year I even joined one of the choirs to try and be a part of that experience as well, but I did only one semester because the extra 0-credit workload was overwhelming, and so I missed the Christmas concerts from a choir perspective.

              I’d like a moment to share some of my other favorite moments or the PLU music world. While it’s true that we had amazing choral talent, the solo singing talent was also incredible. I had the opportunity once to be in the smaller chamber-sized orchestra for a production of Mozart’s Magic Flute. It had previously been one of my favorite operas and so I was excited to be a part of it. And the singers that were recruited for the production were phenomenal. I believe some of them went to sign in large opera companies after college. Mozart was incredibly precise and so it was certainly a challenge to really listen to the other members of the orchestra and the soloist or chorus at the time in order to blend and stay together properly. That’s one of the beautiful things about playing music: it’s another way to stay presently connected with others as well as a deeper part of yourself.

              Another favorite moment was getting to be the Concert Master when my great friend Laura won the soloist competition. Laura and I had previously been stand-partners, which was a bit of a snarky, biting, but supportive relationship. Through music and other classes and by being just such a fun person she quickly became one of my best friends. And so when she was the soloist for the orchestra, it was my primary job to watch and listen and try to give cues to help the orchestra best follow and support her in her concerto solo. It was an enormous amount of responsibility. I took great pride in it, and it was one of the greatest teamwork exercises I’ve ever had to do. For how much I respected Laura’s musical talent and skill I was incredibly proud and honored to be the lead of her support and background for that performance. And of course, she nailed the performance. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to preform in an orchestra for another person’s solo.

              A couple other favorite moments (honestly there are probably too many to write about all of them): At the end of my senior year, I held a senior recital. By then I had restarted playing piano and taking lessons. I decided to combine the two instruments, and due to my middle name being “Amadeus,” Preformed an all-Mozart combined violin and piano recital. Most of my family, including my grandmother (who is an incredible musician), my parents, my brother, and some of my greatest friends at PLU were able to come. I started with Piano for the recital. I felt that it would be easier to transition from piano to violin than vis versa. The violin portion also contained a concerto that mentally felt more difficult than starting with a slower piano piece and then Sonata. My brother arrived with a bag of Taco Bell (blessed is the bell; however I was a little upset), which my Grandma thankfully would not let him eat during the recital. The first half of the recital went well and got me into the "Zone." I was thankful that I picked all Mozart so that I didn't need to navigate highly different musical styles. After the recital had finished, Micah and Kyle came up to me to share congratulations and the like,  especially knowing how much work goes into a college senior music recital. The second half of the recital was violin, and I played with my dad as the piano accompaniment, just like growing up. In some way I had come full circle. Afterwards there were many congratulations and complements and the like, and then we went to have dinner as a family. My senior recital is probably one of the events that I am most proud of. While getting into medicine and residency is difficult and requires a lot of work, it cannot compare to the endless hours of practice and self-critique and self-examination from a technical, musical, and emotional standpoint that goes into a senior recital. By the end of preparation, it really becomes a deep exploration of self, and the performance almost feels like a presentation of all that was uncovered. It becomes an incredibly personal experience.

              With all that being said, my next favorite musical moment at PLU was getting to see Laura’s senior recital (granted I was in Spokane for med school at that time). I made the quick drive from Spokane to PLU, and managed to get some of the time off from classes in order to see it. The preclinical community in Spokane was greatly more supportive of students than the clinical community in third and 4^th years in general, for which I was very grateful. My showing up at the recital was a bit of a surprise, and at first, I was worried that I startled her and would make it difficult to perform. Thankfully I was wrong. She performed a selection of difficult pieces exquisitely, as well as a violin and cello duet with her partner, Niko. That duet was truly a treat as both are incredible musicians. After the recital we did the typical greet and congratulations. Laura was surprised that I could come and grateful as well. I just told her that I would never have wanted to miss it. Afterwards we went out for pizza with her parents and other members of our study-away crew (later chapter) to celebrate. I drove back that night and got to bed just after midnight. Luckily my morning had been cleared so that I could make it to this. I guess sometimes having options is not as good as just making a decision. I don’t think I would have experienced as much growth, made as great friends, or had as much fun if I did not go to PLU. It’s rather sad as the school now faces financial ruin and has cut many of it’s amazing humanities.

Chapter 40: Starting residency?

Starting residency and moving to Salt Lake City was certainly a wild adventure. At first, I discussed with some people I had yet to meet in our residency group chat about living together to cut costs. By the end I decided that I had been sacrificing my living conditions for money all through med school and much of college, and that now I had a real job, and I would find a nice place for myself. I had a friend in Seattle who had lived in Salt Lake and had said that the Sugarhouse neighborhood was the best place to live. I looked online and found a few promising apartments. I virtual toured two complexes, both seemed good. The first one I had a better feeling about subjectively and seemed in a better area for walking to stores and restaurants and bars. But the second was cheaper, and so I eventually filled out the paperwork for the second location. Then they forgot to ask for a deposit. The next day I felt like I had done the wrong thing and so I quickly applied to the first place and declined all offers from the second. They told me I would lose my deposit and I informed them that they had never asked for one. This was almost opposite to my situation moving to Spokane. I had a good apartment, relatively new, and I was excited to move there. I packed up most of my things from the house I was living in, packed my car. My parents packed their car with my things and drove down with me to help move. When we got to the apartment we initially commented on how beautiful and convenient the area seemed for living. I checked in with the leasing office, then moved most of my things into the apartment. Most were smaller items. I had sold or gotten rid of most furniture because it seemed more expensive to transport it than to buy new things. After moving a variety of things in and putting them away where they seemed to fit, I went to Costco with my mom to get a bed and got a lovely Casper Queen bed and high thread-count sheets. Before I had always slept on twin or full beds. The queen had a luxurious amount of space, and I couldn’t believe I had ever used other beds. Over the next couple days, I got furniture—both new and used—to fill the space. I rented a U-Haul to get a couch from a lovely Mormon couple who were working on growing their family and thought that their couch would be too small. Bigger gain for me, it was a large sectional couch that could easily fit ten or more people. I quickly got other items, like table and chairs, tv stand, bed frame, bookshelves, and other storage things, etc. Prior to residency starting with the group chat I had started talking to someone I’ll call R, who helped with the move and finding furniture and the like, and I returned the favor. I thought that I was making a friend in the program, but R moved to radio silence, which made things like getting my dining room table rather difficult. I was looking forward to other social opportunities to meet other residents who would hopefully be more open or friendly. That chance came within a few days, and we had several social meetings at local breweries. At the outset I was deeply impressed with the class. Many of them were sociable and great conversationalists with many interesting stories. A good chunk loved outdoor activities (which is why they came) as well as skiing. And many were also very interested in social justice in medicine. In fact one of the early group activities we did before starting residency was to go to a Black Lives Matter rally.

It was time to start the orientation for Residency, much of which was standard, including badging and logging on and some basic things on charting. At one point we were paired up with another resident and sent to review the pelvic exam with paid “actors” or “models” (both feel like strange names). I was paired with Kaci, who was hilarious. I knew we’d be friends. She also thought that this was a very strange way to meet a new co-resident. The model explained what to do and then we took our sequential turns. It was a strange experience. And afterwards decided that we were vagina-buddies because we had been “in” the same place. After that, nearly everyone at the workshop decided they needed a beer, and so we went to do that.

Right before starting a couple co-residents and myself went on a camping trip to the Tetons. Kim and her partner Adam went and got an actual campsite, while Kaci and her partner, Kaylor, and Haley and her partner Rodrigo and I went off into nearby BLM or national forest territory nearby and dispersed camped. My initial plan was to sleep under the stars, so I set up no tent and just put out a sleep pad and bag. Next, we delved deep into the beers and started a fire, although all slightly too early to later realize that the camp was full of mosquitos and that we were being eaten alive. Once we were significantly intoxicated a ranger came by. He did not seem upset; he was investigating a camp further down for firework suspicion. He told us we were fine, and Kaci offered him a shot or beer, which he seemed to think was funny. The rest of the night was uneventful. Not setting up a tent was a huge mistake; I was devoured by mosquitos.

The next morning, no one felt good, but somehow Haley and Rodrigo were functional enough to make us delicious breakfast tacos. Kim tells us she’s going on a hike and invites us to join. The hike looks long and so we have our breakfast and opt for a much shorter hike in the park and take the day at a bit more relaxing pace. The remaining nights and days are similar, although I remain too stubborn to put up my tent. By the end of the trip, I may have lost a full unit of blood to the mosquitos and my whole body itched tremendously.

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There were a few more orientation events and light days afterwards, prior to starting. We get our schedules for starting. I will start on night float at the university, specifically as the intern covering pulmonology and cardiology service patients. According to the older residents this is the worst rotation to start on. In a way I was looking forward to it more because of this because I could count on future rotations feeling easier.

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The first night was difficult and required a lot of coffee. Thankfully the senior residents—older residents who help and overlook the interns—were incredible. Knowledgeable, kind, supportive, and efficient. Having them there made the transition feel smooth and seamless. They had obviously received good training and guidance to do this work. I became excited for future rotations and teams. Sometime in that first week of nights I received a page from one of the nurses, “Rm -----, pt refusing shower, third time, please advise,” There was nothing in my sign-out (the little sheet the day team gives you with summarized information and plan about the patient). I ended calling back and saying that the patient did not need a shower if he didn’t want one, and that I would bring it up to the day team. Luckily there was nothing else like that for the rest of the night.

The following rotations were similarly fantastic. I much preferred working during the day because I could spend my days off during the daytime and hang with other co-residents if they were off as well.